Just for a minute.

What if the storm ends and I dont see you. 

Hey.

Its funny that lately I have been so quiet, humble inside. Emotional but calm. So emotional that everything fades away if i compare it. I dont know why. I feel powerful enlightment from somewhere but I dont what to do with it. Its not like I know something that others dont, maybe. It is something complete, something what is not unfinished like everything else in my life - broken, not done, blown up.  Maybe its a plan, maybe not. I would really like to show inner me but I cant. Its not like that. I cant just open my chest and let my friends see how much is in me. It is odd, funny, freaky, depressing, good/bad place full of love. Hard to explain, "I want to see you as you are now" kind of a action.. Stronger than feelings and that makes it hard to live with. Its blinking in me. Slow and appears only when I really-really open myself to someone, somewhere.

Its time to sleep now. Big question mark is hangin on top of me.

Good night.
R. 

Elu ei ole võistlus, asi millest olen viimasel ajal enam aru saanud. Võtaks hea meelega tükikese kellegi südamest kes ka minu südamest selle tüki suudab ära tirida, kuid teada on et need asjad juhtuvad ootamatult ja tavaliselt ajal mil seda ei oota. Mitu päeva on peas olnud siuke rahu ja tühjus. Teen asju ja ei vaata tagasi. Palju rongiga sõitnud heh.

Just want to make you happy.

Millegipärast hing ihaldab Vespaga kuskil ringi vuristada ja mitte tormata järgmisesse päeva.

R.

Võtan aja maha.

Ühe päeva Ottoga maal, Forellipüüki ja Forelli grilli, mineviku meenutamine muusika saatel ja siis see teine päev. Üksi maal. Rahulik, toa ümber tõstmine, mõtlemine ja mitte mõtlemine. Oma arust produktiivne olek. Parem, kui linnas passida. Võibolla.

Igatahes, võtsin aja maha. Viimase nädala uudised ja suhted ning kõik sellega kaasnev möll ei ole olnud meelmööda. Vajalik oli.

Sometimes Im feelin high, sometimes feelin low, sometimes I love god, sometimes I feel Im just a lonely middle-man with no flow. Sometimes my mind is playing tricks, sometimes Im uneasy, sometimes my mind is playin tricks and sometimes life is not easy, but I think I'l get out of this.


Peace.
R.

Jee.

Outzoned. 

Ühegi selgituseta kadumine on vahva.

R.

Some of us live in shadows so we never have to choose.